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Watch the whole televised Vaxathon along with us

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We will be updating you all day with every memorable moment from the country’s first (and hopefully last) live televised Vaxathon extravaganza. 7.45pm Pio Terei attempts to make himself a real fruit ice creamHopes and dreams collapsed before our very eyes when Pio Terei poured himself the finest ice cream any vaxathon has ever seen, only […]

We will be updating you all day with every memorable moment from the country’s first (and hopefully last) live televised Vaxathon extravaganza. 

7.45pm Pio Terei attempts to make himself a real fruit ice cream

Hopes and dreams collapsed before our very eyes when Pio Terei poured himself the finest ice cream any vaxathon has ever seen, only to have it drop off the cone at the worst possible moment. One moment Pio Terei was the proudest man in Aotearoa; the next, that ice cream had slopped off the cone and onto the bench below. It was brutal, it was tragic. His heart broke, and we watched it happen.  “I’m going back to my sausages,” Sad Pio said.

7.30pm Sonny jumps on the tools

It wouldn’t be a Vaxathon without some behind-the-scenes action, so host Sonny Ngatai decided to get behind the camera and see how hard it really is to make live TV magic.

We’ll let you judge the results for yourselves…

“We scared them with the TikTok, don’t scare them with the close up,” said Gower.

7.10pm Jason Gunn is still going strong in Ōtautahi

Is there anyone in New Zealand more excited about Super Shot Saturday than old mate Jason Gunn? It’s just gone 7pm and he’s still full of beans. One just-jabbed Christchurch family is off to get fish and chips for tea, and Jason Gunn couldn’t be more thrilled for them. “Get me a donut! And a scoop of chips!” A big ol’ Jason Gunn thumbs up for everyone.

7.00pm Taika Waititi is back – with an outfit change

Even experienced broadcasters and big time celebrities love a bit of timezone chit chat. “What time is it there,” Julian Wilcox asked Taika Waititi, beaming live from LA. “Nearly eleven,” said Waititi. “Eleven at night then, eh bro?” said Wilcox. “Yeah,” said Waititi. 

With just under an hour left, the Māori vaccination rate for today is now at 21,523, inching closer to Waititi’s goal of 25,000. “If you’re Māori and you’re not afraid of a little jab in the arm… Get out there, get it done, let’s try and get to that 25,000,” he said. 

A reminder that earlier today, Waititi promised on the fly that he will choose one person who gets vaxxed today to come on set with him when he is next filming in Aotearoa. “I don’t even know how that’s going to work but we’ll make it work,” he said. 

The promises continued, with Waititi making another left field offer to reach out to the Rolling Stones to get them to perform in New Zealand. “I’ll send them an email, I’ll send them a letter… I’ll DM them.”

6.45 pm The party continues in Papakura

Pio Terei and Mihingarangi Forbes have checked in from Papakura, where the Earth, Wind and Fire is still pumping and the sausages are still sizzling. “This place has been packed out all day,” said Terei. “We had six people in a waka, a car, and all of them were first time vaxxers, so I went and got them six sausages.”

“Haere mai, we are open till eight o’clock,” says Forbes, rocking a strong late entrant to today’s #livecrosslooks. “And there’s heaps of sausages left,” added Terei. 

6.30pm Dr Michael Baker gets his second dose

Down in Porirua’s Pacific Health Plus vaccination centre this evening, epidemiologist Dr Michael Baker received his second vaccination dose. “It was painless, I didn’t feel a thing,” he said in the aftermath, “I feel relieved that I have more antibodies in my body now.” I feel equally relieved that we now have confirmation that Baker’s deltoid is, in fact, strong. 

6.00pm Paddy “TikTok” Gower dances like nobody’s watching

“I’d like to apologise to the nation, but I’m doing this for the vax,” Gower said, fulfilling his promise of doing a TikTok dance and proving once and for all that the rhythm is going to get you. Meanwhile in Ōtara, RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under winner Kita Mean joined Jesse Mulligan in the vaccination queue, in what has to be the most stylish arrival of all of Super Saturday.

5.30pm Paddy “Shakespeare” Gower drops a poem

Paddy Gower is feeling so inspired by today’s events that poetry has begun to flow through him like a river. “There’s a famous poem, I don’t know who it’s by,” he told the nation, “but it goes like this: Give them a taste of Kiwi / give them a taste of Kiwi / show them we’re the best,” he recited, before coming back from a live cross with the timeless haiku “jab-awocky, jab-awiki, jabbawoo-wah-way”. Inspirational, indeed.

5.05pm Get ready for Karen O’Leary’s new TV sensation, Country Karender

Wellington Paranormal star Karen O’Leary dropped by Avalon Studios to reveal Karens around the world will soon be redeemed by her new, possibly made up on the spot, upcoming hit TV show called Country Karender.  She also sang an original song called ‘Get Your Vaccine’, an absolute banger even more catchy than the Country Calendar theme song itself.

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5.00pm Mike McRoberts and Siousxie Wiles at Auckland Airport

Mike McRoberts and Siousxie Wiles were hanging out at Auckland Airport, celebrating this “history making” day of over 100,000 Covid-19 vaccinations. “What we really need more of is first doses,” Siousxie said, and reminded viewers you’re still able to vaccinated in the coming days if you can’t go today. Sadly, McRoberts was not wearing his Masked Singer NZ Orange Roughy costume, but with three hours in Vaxathon to go, there is still time. Do it for the country, Mike.

4.45pm Just two great one-liners

Broadcaster Brodie Kane: “I’m 35 and single, I’d like to pash a good-looking man this summer.” 

Wheel Black Barney Koneferenisi: “Don’t be a bots, come down and get your shot”

4.20pm Robyn Malcolm’s message for West Auckland

Robyn Malcolm has a message for the “party animals” of West Auckland who aren’t vaccinated yet. “The minute you do it, you can get back to the rum and Cokes straight away,” the Outrageous Fortune legend says. She is already fully-vaccinated, and says she had no side effects except “a really bad tequila hangover which I tried to blame on the vaxx.” 

4.00pm Hula challenges and Ryan Bridge vaxxed live

The carnival vibes continue as we cross to Rotorua’s Pasifika vaccination event, where Alexis is teaching mayor Steve Chadwick how to do the hula. “I think the most important thing is making people feel at home,” one of the organisers says. “They see people they are familiar with, and when they come in we do things the Pasifika way.” 

Back in Auckland, The AM Show host Ryan Bridge  is getting vaccinated live in first class of a Boeing 787. He thankfully remembered to wear a singlet under his shirt so he didn’t have do go full Stuart Nash, launching into the jab with the battle cry “let’s get Pfizered!”. 

3.45pm Suzy Cato, master of mise-en-scène

Something from slightly earlier: Suzy Cato wants us to say “see-ya, see-ya later” to lockdowns. Also, does Suzy Cato live in the Taskmaster house? Just asking the question.

3.40pm Gunn, gunge and gelato in Ōtautahi

Jason Gunn is cavorting around a carpark in Ōtautahi with the What Now crew and a free gelato stand. Current What Now host Joe is nervous because it is the first time he is getting a jab without his mum. “Joe! Joe! Joe!” Jason Gunn chants, while jumping up and down. 

Gunn also had the best sign-off of the day: “back to you, wherever you are, whoever you are.” Back in the studio, Gunn’s appearance has inspired a touch of gunge chat. “I’ve never been gunged, but I do know a little bit about ganja,” says Gower.

3.20pm Paddy vs Patty

“We’re making things up as we go along,” says Paddy Gower, “I’m letting my brain kinda move.” That brain then moved through an extremely funny interview with All Black Patrick (Patty) Tuipulotu, who is currently in MIQ. 

“I’m looking forward to getting outside and having a picnic with the family,” says Tuipulotu, who is encouraging Māori and Pasifika to get the jab today to “keep everyone safe to get back to doing what we do.” 

“I did it for my little one, my family, my teammates and everyone around me, its important that we do this if we want to get back to some kind of freedom in our lives.” 

Paddy ends on a crucial question for Patty – who has the biggest deltoids in the All Blacks? In yet another bit of breaking news, it is allegedly Scott Barrett. Rest assured we will be keeping you updated on this developing deltoid story.

3.05pm Jacinda Ardern announces 100,000 target already met

Jacinda Ardern has announced that Aotearoa has just surpassed the target of reaching 100,000 doses today. “Lets go for 150” says Ardern, “go big or go home Paddy.” By way of marking the occasion, DJ Clarke Gayford jumped on the decks to perform one celebratory “wicky-wow” record scratch.

Ardern is yet to be convinced to get into the DJ booth, but we still have five hours to go. 

3.00pm Marlon Williams performs live from Eastgate mall food court

Y-E-S

2.40pm The Casketeers, live from Porirua

Francis and Kaiora Tipene from The Casketeers have rocked up to the vaccination centre in Porirua with armfuls of donuts and mandarins. “We just showed up and they were throwing donuts at us,” says Kaiora, who reveals they are currently in the middle of filming their fifth season. 

On why vaccination is so important, Francis says he has seen the impacts of Covid-19 first hand. “Any death is sad, but when you die from Covid-19 it’s unnecessary,” he says. “We’ve seen it: it is sad, the effects it has on whānau.” 

Finally, they encourage everyone to get vaccinated so we can return to our normal rituals. “Let’s get it done so we can gather and have birthdays and weddings and funerals and get back to Aotearoa as we know it.

2.25pm Chris Hipkins can’t escape “spread your legs” 

Covid-19 response minister Chris Hipkins is in the Vaxathon studio for what can only be described as a roasting, with hosts Sonny Ngatai and Anna Harcourt determined to know whether or not he has a favourite “spread your legs” meme. “I’ve tuned out of it now so I couldn’t really pass judgement on it,” says Hipkins.  

Unfortunately, you can’t quite tune out of live television, and these hosts aren’t done with “spread your legs” yet. Harcourt posits a challenge to Hipkins to do the splits in studio, before Paddy Gower wanders into the frame with a Covid-19 t-shirt for Hipkins, who is very much already wearing a Covid-19 t-shirt. 

“Bit of advice,” Gower interrupts his co-hosts. “That was quite good – keep it up with the spread your legs stuff.”

2.10pm Lorde’s advice for the needle-phobic

I am the first person to admit that I find getting injections really icky, but ever since I was a kid I have treated myself by going to the bakery afterwards,” says Ella Yelich-O’Connor, aka Lorde. “Get yourself a tart, a cream bun, an apple turnover if you are feeling crazy. But please, please, get that jab.” 

2.05pm Jacinda and Taika talk fingernails

Prime minister Jacinda Ardern has dropped by the Vaxathon studio to reveal the latest dose numbers and have a chat to Taika Waititi. As doses for Māori top 12,000 today, Waititi says they still “could be a lot better.” 

Should Māori rates surpass 25,000 today, Waititi says he will arrange for one lucky person to come and hang out with him on set the next time he is filming back in Aotearoa. The promise appeared to be entirely up on the spot, but “we’ll figure it out,” he says. 

If that is not incentive enough, Waititi also says that he will change out his palm tree nail art if Māori reach his 25,000 target. When asked what is on Jacinda Ardern’s nails, the answer is quite different. “Dirt and hard work,” she says. “No palm trees here, my friend.”

2.00pm Rawiri Waititi does a TikTok

I get the feeling there’s going to be a lot more TikToks to come today, as Rawiri Waititi drops a ‘Tok before dropping some salient advice to the vaccine-hesitant. “The message is get out there, be a good tīpuna, be a good ancestor to the mokopuna you haven’t met yet,” he says. “We’re not worried about conspiracies and stuff like that, our job is to get the people out there.”

1.40pm Hollie Smith has a LOT of lanyards

Singer Hollie Smith has popped into the Vaxathon with a video message about why she got fully-vaxxed. “I really want to get back to performing, I really want to get back to connecting to the community,” says Smith, whose album is being released next week. “I’m doing it for my industry,” she says. “So many people are on the brink of losing their livelihood.” 

In a final plea to the audience, Smith pulls out what can only be described as the hugest rat king of lanyards ever committed to the screen. “Please,” she says from beneath the pile “I really want to get back to doing shows.”

1.30pm Another strong entry for most stylish live cross

Miss Geena Sparkle has pulled out all the stops for her Vaxathon interview in this sequinned rainbow number. “We’ve been fighting a pandemic for 40 years now so we are no strangers to this,” she says of the rainbow community. When asked what she is looking forward to the most about returning to post-vaccination normality, Sparkle is frank about the number of men she wants to “rub her titties on.”

1.20pm Paddy Gower TikTok dance update

Gower appears to be hard at work preparing for his TikTok debut. Please also note Silver Fern Maia Wilson in the background, told to stand in front of the stage to prevent towering over her co-hosts. Loving it.

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1.10pm Most stylish live cross of the Vaxathon so far

Shout out to Miss Kihi and Harata Brown in Kaitaia for this sublime #livecrosslook

1.00pm League legend Roger Tuivasa-Sheck, live from Ōtara

Looks like a truly incredible time out in Ōtara with free ice-cream, free food, music pumping and league legend Roger Tuivasa-Sheck broadcasting live. 

“It’s really important,” Tuivasa-Sheck says of his decision to get vaccinated. “I have to make sure I can do my job and protect my family.” 

“If people are sitting on the fence right now, there’s nothing wrong it,” he says, encouraging people to get information from the South Seas website.

“Lets keep encouraging everyone to get vaccinated, lets create a safe community and lets see those levels drop.”

12.50pm Dr Ashley Bloomfield in the house

Director general of health Ashley Bloomfield is live in the studio wearing a Super Saturday Vaxathon t-shirt. He says the vaccination efforts today have already been “fantastic” – particularly for Māori. “Ten thousand is more than we’ve had any other day for Māori, so it is great to see those numbers coming through.” 

Bloomfield is continuing to encourage people across the country who haven’t been vaccinated yet to join the effort. The message is now “get vaccinated, save lives, be kind” he says. “We’ve done this before together and we can do it again together.” 

In huge TikTok news, Bloomfield reveals he will be back in the studio later, and is not averse to a choreographed dance. ”I’m up for it,” he says. 

12.40pm Our first musical act!

My review so far is that the Vaxathon vibe is very cool and slick. Barely half an hour in and we’ve already been all around the country, from Tauranga to Cannons Creek (home to “do it for the east” tshirts), to the jab-a-seat dreamliner at Auckland airport. 

The Vaxathon has also dabbled in its first musical act, Maaka Fiso, who tells the audience “if you feel it within yourself man, go get vaccinated.” In-house DJ Shan has taken Silver Fern Maia Wilson through the intricacies of mixing live on air.

No further updates on Paddy Gower’s TikTok account.

12.25pm Taika Waititi beams into Vaxathon from LA

Taika Waititi has joined Vaxathon live from his “salubrious surroundings” in Los Angeles. “I’d love as many people to get vaxxed, so i can come home,” he tells the studio, revealing he’s only been home for a five day stint since the pandemic began. “It makes sense,” he says. “We want people to be safe and get out their and continue our lives.” 

“Things feel pretty normal here [in LA] now, and it’s because most people are now vaccinated, so I’m really urging as much people as I can to get vaccinated.” Waititi says he misses New Zealand food, and might even check back in later to show himself cooking dinner. Rita Ora is nowhere to be seen at this stage. 

12.15pm Vaxathon kicks off with a hearty”Lessshhhgo” 

We’re live from the glorious Avalon Studios in Te Whanganui-a-Tara, home to many a memorable live television moment. “I know what you’re thinking,” Sonny Ngatai welcomes the audience from the shiny neon lights of the Vaxathon. “Who is this guy? I don’t know who I am either.” 

Things have kicked off with an appropriately self-deprecating and shambolic start. Julian Wilcox introduces himself as “an old chunk of coal struggling to be a shining diamond”, while Re: content director Anna Harcourt tells the camera she is “learning how to broadcast live as we speak.” 

Paddy Gower is absolutely on one, only five minutes into the broadcast. “I do have something special that I do want to say,” he tells the studio, “LEEEESSSHGOOOO”. He’s going to start a TikTok account today, there’s a live mural being scribbled and What Now tele-op-inspired people on the phone to answer all your questions. Vaxathon is here, baby.

11.30am What to expect from the live Vaxathon today

Aotearoa, the moment is upon us: it is Super Saturday Vaxathon day. Between the hours of 12-8pm tonight, a truly impressive combination of TV channels and online streams will be covering this historic moment live from around the country, encouraging as many sleeves to be rolled up as possible and as many celebrities to join a conga line as current broadcasting standards will allow.

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From 12pm we will be updating you here with all the wild, wonderful and weird moments. For now, here is what we know about the Vaxathon event:

See you back here at 12pm! Thank you very much for your vac-ci-nation!

Source: The Spinoff https://thespinoff.co.nz/tv/16-10-2021/we-are-watching-the-whole-televised-vaxathon-so-you-dont-have-to/

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