Jana Kramer has opened up about the emotional night ex Mike Caussin was served with divorce papers, saying her relationship with him was “literally like a drug.”The country songstress officially filed for divorce back in April after nearly six years of…
Jana Kramer has opened up about the emotional night ex Mike Caussin was served with divorce papers, saying her relationship with him was "literally like a drug."
The country songstress officially filed for divorce back in April after nearly six years of marriage. In an emotional social media post on Wednesday, April 21, Kramer simply said "it's time."
READ MORE: Inside Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin's custody and child support arrangements amid divorce
During the May 24 episode of her Whine Down with Jana Kramer podcast, entitled 'Follow Your Intuition', Kramer, 37, admitted she "had such terrible anxiety" when the divorce became official.
"The night that Mike got served … it was literally like a drug," the One Tree Hill alum said during the podcast to her best friend, who was there and supported Kramer on the night.
According to the 'I Got the Boy' singer, she could not give the documents to her footballer soon-to-be-ex-husband "by law" herself, so he was served outside "by his truck."
READ MORE: Jana Kramer to pay Mike Caussin more than $644,000 in divorce
But Caussin, 34, wanted to come inside and put their kids — Jolie, five, and Jace, two — to bed.
Kramer waited in another room, unable to face him.
"I was like, 'He can't come in this room,' because the second he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably ask for him back," she said.
READ MORE: Jana Kramer hints at Mike Caussin's infidelities during marriage: 'I had no choice'
"The addict in me was like, I wanted him so badly to come in that room and hold me and love me and tell me he's sorry and give me that hit. I needed it so bad."
"Being an addict in love … that drug and that hit, having that codependency and the trauma bond, it can mess you up so bad," she said of her relationship with Caussin.
It also recently came to light that the former couple were issued a temporary restraining order amid their divorce proceedings.
READ MORE: Jana Kramer accuses ex Mike Caussin of 'adultery' in her divorce filing
Kramer said her emotions got to her as she waited for her ex to leave the house.
"I knew what was happening, and I'm wailing, like, bawling crying. Because all I wanted to do in that moment was say, 'Never mind, never mind'," she said.
"Because that was the addict in me being like, 'The second he gets those papers, it's done and I can't go back to that person anymore.' I was trying not to cry, but how could you not?
READ MORE: Singer and actress Jana Kramer worries she'll forever 'resent' estranged husband Mike Caussin for breaking up their family
"That was the hardest of all the days. Just, like, seeing all the signatures and it not being what I wanted. That was a very hard day."
Kramer revealed she called Caussin after she signed the divorce papers, and she told him, "'I know I wasn't a perfect wife, but I would have fought forever for this family and for you.'"
Kramer and Caussin announced their split last month.
The exes had previously signed a postnuptial agreement in November 2016 after news broke in September 2016 that Caussin had been unfaithful.
READ MORE: Jana Kramer splits from Mike Caussin after six years of marriage
They called it quits for a short time before renewing their vows in 2017 when Caussin committed to getting treatment for sex addiction.
"From here on out, I'm going to stop with the why and the how's because now I have to move on," Kramer concluded.
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