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The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 7-13)

Published: (Updated: ) in Australian News by .

Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.

Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

My 4 year old just asked why she can’t eat tacos every day and honestly, I think I’d have an easier time explaining where babies come from.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) March 8, 2020

Me: OMG WHAT THE HELL

Child: The news said it’s more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow.

Me: THEY MEAN YOUR OWN ELBOW

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 7, 2020

I told my son how old I was and he whispered ‘you were born in the nineteen hundreds’ and looked at me with such awe and reverence so now I feel old but also strangely god-like

— Vision O’Bored ☘️ (@VisionBored1) March 12, 2020

Typical morning:

Get coffee.
Tell kid to get dressed for the 10th time.
Reheat coffee.
Get in the car.
Forget coffee.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 9, 2020

BOSS: due to the virus we need everybody to work from home

ME: please, i have a family

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 11, 2020

Me: *singing a song to 3*

3: I think you should play the quiet game

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 12, 2020

“It’s good for him to feel like he has some control,” I say to myself after caving to yet another of my 3yo’s demands.

— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) March 11, 2020

5-year-old: Do I have to fall in love someday?

Me: No.

5: Good. I have stuff to do.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 7, 2020

When I was 4, my mother caught something that had her up all night throwing up. At about 5 AM the next morning, I stood over her as she laid in bed and demanded cereal.

Yesterday, my mom bought my daughter a suction cup bow and arrow for her birthday.

I guess we’re even now.

— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) March 12, 2020

I know I’m not supposed to have a favourite child but our 10 year old pointed out that he’s closer to being 25 than me so it’s sure as shit not going to be him

— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) March 11, 2020

In an effort to go back to olde tymes I took my kid on a jaunt to buy the game Yahtzee for some old-fashioned fun. It provided minutes of entertainment!
Back on fortnite.

— Rachel Dratch (@TheRealDratch) March 13, 2020

Remember when theaters used to play that loud THX sound effect demo before the movie started, to show off their speakers and damage your ears?

That’s what parenting is like.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 10, 2020

My 4yo: Proudly wakes me up at the ass-crack of dawn to tell me he properly washed his hands for 20 seconds.

Also My 4yo: Licks 2 of his toy cars without breaking eye contact with me.

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) March 13, 2020

Me: *buys granola bars*

Kid: *eats half of one*

Me: *buys half-sized granola bars*

Kid: *eats 57 of them*

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 10, 2020

Looks like we’re getting an extra month with our college son, whether he likes it or not.*

*He does not like it.

— Kara Kinney Cartwright (@dbaKaraKC) March 11, 2020

Headlines: Companies are looking at having their employees work from home…

Me, a SAHM: pic.twitter.com/U0s7ORq6Tw

— Mummy Dear Go Bragh 🤦🏼‍♀️ ☘️ (@ThatMummyLife) March 12, 2020

Who needs an alarm system when the slightest vibration sets off about 4 of my kid’s toys to play music at volume 10.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 10, 2020

My 3yo took one bite out of every hot dog bun in the house.

Causing me to exclaim, “This is why we can’t have nice things in the house!”

Causing me to realize I now consider HOT DOG BUNS to be “nice things.”

— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 12, 2020

Me: Do you ever think about just driving until there’s no where else to drive to?

Cashier: Ma’am your daughter is licking my leg

— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 11, 2020

Around a third (42%) of parenting is pretending you understand your child’s homework

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) March 11, 2020

Also on HuffPost

Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.

Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

Also on HuffPost

Source: Huffington Post Australia Athena2 https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/the-funniest-tweets-from-parents-this-week_au_5e6e9714c5b6bd8156f9c5d2

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