January 17, 2021

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People Are Having A Viral Debate About This Guy’s Behaviour On A First Date

5 min read
<div><p>“You must remember this: A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh...” But can we get an edit on that <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_Time_Goes_By_(song)" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">“Casablanca” soundtrack classic</a> that makes it clear that <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cake-pops_n_3636596" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">two cake pops</a> are meant to be shared, dammit?!</p><p>On Friday, romance novelist <a href="http://www.alisharai.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Alisha Rai</a> tweeted about a very disappointing date she’d been on the day before. Cake pops figured prominently in her story.</p></div><!-- start relEntries --><div><h3>Related...</h3><ul><li><a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/mindy-kaling-and-bj-novaks-instagram-behavior_au_5e4a2641c5b64d860fccd72a?ncid=other_huffpostre_pqylmel2bk8&utm_campaign=related_articles" aria-label="Mindy Kaling And B.J. 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And he came back with two cake pops and I was like aw that’s cute! and then he ate them both. in front of me.<br><br>.............so like he’s clearly a monster right</p>— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlishaRai/status/1228482514567610368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>More than 350,000 people favorited Rai’s tweet, seemingly confirming the dude’s monster status. But a day after the date, Rai was still thinking of the guy:</p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">it’s a whole day (almost twenty four hours) later and I am still marveling over this man who is on a date and buys two whole cake pops—which is equal to the number of people on this date—and doesnt offer a single cake pop. to said date.</p>— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlishaRai/status/1228483541631025152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">i never want to feel that way again.</p>— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlishaRai/status/1228483638611677184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>One fun, depressing little detail made the story even better/worse:</p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I should add they were Valentine’s cake pops with little hearts on them 🥺</p>— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlishaRai/status/1228484730024185856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>Naturally, a Twitter debate ensued on this Important Issue Of The Day: Was this cake pop-hoarding man a veritable monster, as Rai suggested? Or should she have just gotten her own damn cake pop?</p><p>People in the “he’s a <em>monster</em>” camp were firm in their conviction: </p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">That's the type of monster who wouldn't share a floating door when the Titanic stinks. Cut him loose.</p>— Lillie (@lillie_80) <a href="https://twitter.com/lillie_80/status/1228483165607645187?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Every day I wake up. <br>And I’m like, “surely men have run out of ways to be trash, right? There are no more ways.”<br><br>One scroll later, and I see shit like this.</p>— Benjamin Young Savage (ᐱᓐᒋᐱᓐ) (@benjancewicz) <a href="https://twitter.com/benjancewicz/status/1228699428564893697?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">This guy gave you an instant snapshot of what marriage to him would be like.</p>— Karen Stivali (@karenstivali) <a href="https://twitter.com/karenstivali/status/1228489117685702656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>Others read the anecdote and thought, “Really? What’s the problem here?” </p><p> </p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">The whole debate seems very strange to me. Am I the only person who simply orders what she wants without expecting someone else to cater for me? I would never expect someone else's dessert 😳</p>— cornelia grey (@corneliagrey) <a href="https://twitter.com/corneliagrey/status/1228740896230912000?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Yall sound entitled to something you could just as easily go up and pay for yourself</p>— Easy (@easyainteasy) <a href="https://twitter.com/easyainteasy/status/1228753545941270528?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 15, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>Meanwhile, one guy was so stumped by the story, he concocted an alternative reading of it: </p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I may be wrong, but given the valentines hearts, I’m going for ‘comedy genius’ over ‘monster’.</p>— Graham Thompson (@GT270913) <a href="https://twitter.com/GT270913/status/1229069069338456064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 16, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>Eventually, a<em> still</em> cake pop-less Rai responded to her critics. (Also jeez, am I the only one who really, really wants a cake pop now?) </p></div><div><blockquote data-dnt="true" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you’re a part of Humorless Twitter and have decided to spend days berating me for being (clearly the world’s least ambitious) gold digger, you may not like my books. Or really anything, I imagine. I’m sorry. 😔</p>— Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlishaRai/status/1229181872141299712?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">February 16, 2020</a></blockquote></div><div><p>Who knew <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/cake-pops_n_3636596" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">cake pops</a> could be so polarising? Given the strong opinions on both sides here, we figured we’d ask dating coaches and etiquette experts what<em> they</em> thought of this guy’s behavior. </p><p>“Honestly, I thought it was rude,” said <a href="https://www.winggirlmethod.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Marni Kinrys</a>, a dating coach and host of the <a href="https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/wondery/ask-women#/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">“Ask Women” podcast</a>. “I’m all for female independence and girl power but this was a date, not a Me Too rally.”</p><p><a href="https://dianegottsman.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Diane Gottsman</a>, an etiquette expert and author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life,” said double-fisting cake pops would be rude in pretty much<em> any</em> scenario, not just a first date. </p><p>“Whether it was a date or just a friend and you have offered to buy them something to drink, you would also at least offer to share,” she said. “It’s common courtesy.”</p><p><a href="https://eliteimagemakeovers.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim Seltzer</a>, a dating coach in Los Angeles and the host of <a href="http://bit.ly/Charisma_Quotient" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Charisma Quotient </a>podcast, said she’d need to know more about the date before she could label cake pop guy a cake pop monster. </p><p>“It’s not really about ‘sides’ but about knowing the bigger picture,” she said. “Did he get her the coffee he asked about? What was her response and what was communication like in that moment?”</p><p>The guy is clearly lacking in social grace, though, Seltzer said. </p><p>“The proper etiquette here is to ask if your date would care for a bite to eat if you are eating as well,” she said. “The sad part for the guy is that he would have totally won her over had he surprised her with that cake pop!”</p><p>Indeed. This could have been Rai and her date...</p></div><img src="https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5e4b176b2600009b02b5ebac.jpeg?ops=crop_0_16_2715_1893,scalefit_630_noupscale" alt="His and hers... but not for the guy in this story. " data-caption="His and hers... but not for the guy in this story. " data-credit="Picture taken by Sebastian Rose via Getty Images" data-credit-link-back=""><div><p>...but <em>someone</em> needed two whole cake pops.</p><p> </p><div dir="ltr"> </div></div><section><h5></h5><div></div></section>

“You must remember this: A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh...” But can we get an edit on that “Casablanca” soundtrack classic that makes it clear that two cake pops are meant to be shared, dammit?!

On Friday, romance novelist Alisha Rai tweeted about a very disappointing date she’d been on the day before. Cake pops figured prominently in her story.

“Yesterday I met a guy for coffee and he asked what I’d like to drink and went and fetched the order,” she wrote. “And he came back with two cake pops and I was like aw that’s cute! and then he ate them both. in front of me. .............so like he’s clearly a monster right” 

More than 350,000 people favorited Rai’s tweet, seemingly confirming the dude’s monster status. But a day after the date, Rai was still thinking of the guy:

One fun, depressing little detail made the story even better/worse:

Naturally, a Twitter debate ensued on this Important Issue Of The Day: Was this cake pop-hoarding man a veritable monster, as Rai suggested? Or should she have just gotten her own damn cake pop?

People in the “he’s a monster” camp were firm in their conviction: 

Others read the anecdote and thought, “Really? What’s the problem here?” 

 

Meanwhile, one guy was so stumped by the story, he concocted an alternative reading of it: 

Eventually, a still cake pop-less Rai responded to her critics. (Also jeez, am I the only one who really, really wants a cake pop now?) 

Who knew cake pops could be so polarising? Given the strong opinions on both sides here, we figured we’d ask dating coaches and etiquette experts what they thought of this guy’s behavior. 

“Honestly, I thought it was rude,” said Marni Kinrys, a dating coach and host of the “Ask Women” podcast. “I’m all for female independence and girl power but this was a date, not a Me Too rally.”

Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life,” said double-fisting cake pops would be rude in pretty much any scenario, not just a first date. 

“Whether it was a date or just a friend and you have offered to buy them something to drink, you would also at least offer to share,” she said. “It’s common courtesy.”

Kim Seltzer, a dating coach in Los Angeles and the host of Charisma Quotient podcast, said she’d need to know more about the date before she could label cake pop guy a cake pop monster. 

“It’s not really about ‘sides’ but about knowing the bigger picture,” she said. “Did he get her the coffee he asked about? What was her response and what was communication like in that moment?”

The guy is clearly lacking in social grace, though, Seltzer said. 

“The proper etiquette here is to ask if your date would care for a bite to eat if you are eating as well,” she said. “The sad part for the guy is that he would have totally won her over had he surprised her with that cake pop!”

Indeed. This could have been Rai and her date...

His and hers... but not for the guy in this story. 

...but someone needed two whole cake pops.

 

 

Source: Huffington Post Australia Athena2 https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/first-date-viral-tweet_au_5e4b5db0c5b6eb8e95b19fb9

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