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China Airs List of Grievances with Tasmania

Published: (Updated: ) in Australian News by .

A Chinese diplomat has leaked a number of grievances about Tasmania in a further deterioration of the Australia-China relationship. The diplomat sent the list to Tasmanian Times on Thursday, a day after a set of grievances about the national level relationship was sent to various major publications. Key points on the list are that Tasmanian […]

A Chinese diplomat has leaked a number of grievances about Tasmania in a further deterioration of the Australia-China relationship.

The diplomat sent the list to Tasmanian Times on Thursday, a day after a set of grievances about the national level relationship was sent to various major publications.

Key points on the list are that Tasmanian drivers are the worst in the world, there are no decent noodle shops in Campbell Town despite its strategic location, and that Eric Abetz exists.

The document was sent anonymously, although the author identified him/herself as ‘a serving diplomat loyal to Glorious Chinese Most Democratic Ever Worldwide Republic’.

“The relationship could be improve, but first Peeled Tomato need to trust as much as Frowning Teddy Bear,” said the document in an apparent reference to Tasmanian Premiers and their willingness to obey Chinese Leader Xi Jinping.

“He could send first one container best baby formula and other product of Abalone Province as goodwill gesture to our modestly greatest leader of indelible contribution to the civilisation and advancement of mankind, historically great rock in family of nations,” the diplomat suggested.

Turning back to things that China views as unacceptable, the letter cited disappointing chips for a potato island, cafes that close at 3pm, scarcity of dry days at Mt Reid, badly-chosen location in Roaring Forties, too many bogans, an iconic animal you are only likely to see as roadkill, mediocre bubble tea (originally from Taiwan, definitely part of China), penguins smaller than expected, and nightlife as exciting as a cold week in Tibet (also definitely part of China).

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“Also, cult of worship of David Walsh is worse than Falun Gong,” it noted. “May be need for David Boon ReEducation Camps in future ssshh secret do not say in public. Also consider building Great Wall to protect South Abalone Province from Mongol North.”

The state government neither confirmed nor denied whether or not it has responded or will formally respond to the complaints. A Freedom of Information request for correspondence between the Tasmanian Government and the Embassy of China was returned with 306 pages fully blacked out, save for a cover letter that said ‘Dear Ambassador’.

Source: Tasmanian Times https://www.tasmaniantimes.com/2020/11/china-airs-list-of-grievances-with-tasmania/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=china-airs-list-of-grievances-with-tasmania

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